fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize