It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
