i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
