i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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