honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
