He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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