Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
