So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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