Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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