He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
