Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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