He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dicks are not precious.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
