No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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