You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize