im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
