Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
