She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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