Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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