Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
