dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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