When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
