Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
