Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
