If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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