Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
