one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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