i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
