Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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