This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
