we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize