If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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