i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My breasts were aching with rage.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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