Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize