i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
