So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
