I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
