I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
