i can't believe i had my finger in that
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
