I hate your face
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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