So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
