found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
