Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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