i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize