I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Sober January is a disaster.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
