I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize