i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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