he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
vagina is talking i cant
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize