why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
