she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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