I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
