her vagine was all disorganized.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
