I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
