i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
