Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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