No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dicks are not precious.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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