I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
