This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
