Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
