I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
