There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
