We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
