To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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