The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
