You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
