I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
