Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
